Hi Caitlin so very nice to meet you.
Let’s ease into this, you have been a professional disciplinarian for how long now?
How about I put you over my knee and you can evaluate my skills and guess how long I have been a professional?
Is spanking something you’ve always had an interest in?
Oh yes. I realized my interest at an early age and since then, I have explored my fetish through many different avenues. I think everyone interested in spanking does some searching for the normality in their desire to spank or be spanked. I did. In fact only the last ten years have I become totally comfortable with my needs and my skills. I encourage everyone to read mainstream articles and blogs about spanking; it’s the most common fetish. There are several links on my website to good reading material. . “The bottom line for spanking is that there is no bottom line, except the bottom line, which is so infuriating, it just makes you want to put the whole thing over your knee and give it a good, swift slap.” https://www.esquire.com/lifestyle/sex/a8547/why-spanking-feels-good-1010/
Do you remember what set it off first? A tv show, book, movie?
I do remember when I realized my fascination with spanking. I was sitting in my 10th grade English class and we were watching “Dead Poet’s Society.” There is a great paddling scene in that movie. I remember becoming very flushed and feeling some sexual desire. I didn’t explore my interest until several years later. I was just a teenager! I remember looking up “spanking” in the dictionary. All of us spankos can remember doing that.
You still have a vanilla job in law?
I do and I love my so called mainstream work. I love to empower others to utilize the legal system to solve their problems. In my area of law, the opposing parties typically have caused a great deal of harm that could be imposed on any one of us as consumers. I feel like I help people lead better lives and make smarter decisions.
So how and why did you make this move?
After reading other professional disciplinarian’s websites and fantasizing about being one myself, a good friend of mine encouraged me to start a business. I have my fears, but mostly it has been incredibly rewarding. It’s just another skill base I have and love to practice.
You are a life coach, disciplinarian, or spank therapist. Sounds like you want to help people through spanking?
First and foremost, I want to help the man that has fantasied his whole life about being spanked, struggled with the feeling something is wrong with him, and never could explain his need to a spouse or girlfriend. Especially if he did attempt to tell someone about his need and it was unrequited. I really understand. That’s why I offer phone session; that guy can have someone to talk to at least.
As a life coach and a disciplinarian I help men overcome stress, emotional issues and bad behavior. I work with whatever they choose to bring to the table. I don’t tell people what to do. I listen, I help come up with a plan and I spank.
Sometimes people know the simple act of a spanking relieves stress. Therefor they don’t want any talking, just a good spanking. I am happy to oblige as a spank therapist.
So we can come to you to work out life issues?
Men love to tell me what is bothering them and what issues they would like to improve upon. I am not trained in any psychological therapy but I do know sometimes the best therapy is a closed mouthed friend. One that paddles your butt when you misbehave of course!
Is the therapy angle more for breaking bad habits?
Once again I am not trained in any psychological therapy methods. However I can provide structured plans to overcome negative behavior and punishment for failure to follow through. I can only help with what a person wants to improve. I don’t really give advice, I ask a lot of questions and play the role of a loving but strict disciplinarian. Often times a sore rear end reminds someone to act on the steps we have laid out in living a better life.
And, of course, just a disciplinarian is just for getting our bottoms heated up?
Sometimes a person just wants a good spanking and sometimes they want to be punished for real misbehavior. I don’t require men tell personal details of their life but more often than not they want to tell me.
Should everyone, and not just spanko’s, come and see you? What are the benefits?
Nope. It doesn’t work for non-spankos unless the punishment is so painful it deters a bad behavior and I’m just not into that. Spanking is so much psychological. The intrinsic need to feel love and acceptance through spanking is only for those with, what I call the spanking gene. Ha!
Or that same note, I often ask spanking therapists this question, can you treat someone who wants to be spanked a lesson by spanking them?
Yes. I know how to teach someone a lesson even if they want to be spanked. It’s all about pushing boundaries, creating the feeling of submission, and of course a little humiliation that you have to be spanked!
Do you get a thrill out of spanking someone, or are you unattached? is it just part of the process? Like a doctor or massage therapist?
I am completely attached and vested in the process! Can you keep a secret? I totally get a thrill about seeing a man’s naked bottom over my lap ready to be spanked. Ahem. I am thinking about his needs, how much I should give him, and how I can balance the cathartic release of a spanking while making it a punishment.
What’s your headspace like while giving a spanking?
I am totally in tune with the guy I am spanking. I am thinking only about him: too much, not enough, too humiliating, ect. I listen to every reaction and adjust accordingly. There is so much that goes into giving a therapeutic spanking.
How hard do you spank?
It’s different for everyone. But if you want a better answer, you should try it!
Since you use it for soul cleansing, and problem solving, you must get tears a lot? Not necessarily from the physical pain but maybe from the emotional response?
Unfortunately no, I don’t get many men to cry. I feel so satisfied when I do! Men are just wired not to cry and no man is ever going to cry just from the pain of a spanking, it has to be a letting go of troubling emotions. Often times crying isn’t necessary to feel at ease and comforted after a spanking session but it is such a great release to have a good cry after a spanking session. He would certainly get lots of hugs and cuddling from me!
Do you bond with all of your clients?
Typically yes, especially with repeat clients. I think my clients enjoy me on a personal and intellectual level as well. I certainly enjoy them. A pseudo friendship is important.
Do you have an approach or style?
I am a warm and caring disciplinarian. I listen, I hug, and I truly want to help my clients. Don’t misunderstand, I spank hard for real infractions. I will turn a grown man into a submissive little boy over my lap. A little humiliation is an important part of giving a good spanking.
I do extensive consults through email and pre-session phone calls. I really want my clients to feel like they had a personal experience.
Are most of your spankings given over the knee?
I always start with an over the knee spanking. I like the intimacy, the power play, and the humiliation of being bare bottomed over my lap. An over the knee spanking is never the extent of a spanking session. I spank in multiple positions with multiple implements.
Do you start slow, maybe with your hand, then work up to implements? Or can you be like a strict mom and just go to town hard on a cold bottom?
I always start with just my hand. I like to get a feel for how much pain he will be able to take and also make an intimate connection. Often I start with my hand over underwear and then pull them down while he is over my lap. It really builds the anticipation to start with a light spanking over underwear. A spanking session is a progression of light loving spanking to hard no nonsense spanking.
What implements do you employ? Any favorites?
I use a belt, hairbrush, wooden spoon, paddle, maybe a switch and of course my hand. My favorite is probably the hairbrush. It reminds me so much of domestic discipline; keeping an ordinary item out to be seen where only the spankee knows how it is used. I make my personal bottom keep a hairbrush on the dresser at all times. Additional a hairbrush makes a great sound. I love to get beautiful hairbrushes as gifts.
Is there a signal or moment when you know you are getting through to your patient?
The patient huh? That’s a cute way to term it. There are several cues but one that is really telling to me is the sound of their voice. I ask a lot of questions during a spanking. “Yes ma’am” or “No ma’am” are the required responses. When I am really getting through to him the tone of his voice changes when he answers me.
Do you use safe words?
No I don’t use safe words. Safe words give the spankee a certain amount of control over the spanking and the best part of spanking is giving someone else complete control. I never want my bottom to think about when to use a safe word. I’m not unfair, I’m not sadistic, and I think very in tune with my clients. Occasionally I have asked “Have you had enough?” That is a close to a safe word as my boys get.
You probably don’t role play right?
Of course I do! We all play are different roles in life and spanking is no different. I am the dominant female caring for a male who needs some emotional release through spanking. If you a referring to playing other characters like a mom or teacher, I usually don’t but I may be willing to oblige.
I come to you to stop smoking. How does our first session go?
If you come to me to stop smoking our first session we would talk about why you want to quit smoking and most importantly if you understand I intend to help you through hard no nonsense spankings when you deviate from the plan we have come up with. That’s a difficult task and takes more than just one spanking to stop the behavior. We would have to come up with a detailed plan on how you will quit smoking. We would write down your plan and I would check in with you between sessions to make sure you are following the plan.
Your first spanking? A good butt blistering while I talk to you about how bad smoking is for your health. Your rear end will be sore for a couple days to remind you to take the first steps towards quitting.
How long do you think it will take to get me to stop?
That is completely up to you. If you work towards accomplishing your goal you will get praise and enjoyable spankings. If you don’t follow the plan you will get harsh punishment, scolding and humiliation. That’s an admirable goal to quit smoking. I want to help you.
Did you give spankings before you turned into a career?
Well I didn’t get to be a professional without practice. Of course I given lots of spankings! I have been spanking for play and in the confines of a relationship since I was about 21.
Have you been, or are you still spanked? Since it can benefit us all?
Good Question. I love spanking and I come to realize I’m a natural top. I am still occasionally spanked by my long term partner. Sometimes I can get stressed or emotional and a good spanking really helps me focus. I don’t really get discipline spankings, they are for emotional release. I love to cry after a spanking. My partner is a lot like me in the regard that his warm and caring. He spanks hard but gives me lots of support afterwards.
What’s your headspace like when getting spanked?
When I am being spanked my head space is just enjoying the attention, feeling the sting from each swat and taking a break from all the thoughts in my head. It is incredibly soothing.
How do you feel afterwards?
After I am spanked, by the only person I allow to spank me, I feel soothed and loved. However, I control when and how I am spanked. I am a top to him as well but I occasionally request a spanking from him. I love to have my bottom rubbed afterwards!
Do you get an equal number of women and men coming to see you? We all have issues.
I have spanked a woman, I’m not adverse to it, I just never done it. I feel so in tune with the male psyche and the balance between masculinity and the need to feel submissive that I don’t know if I would do well with a woman. Dare I say, I understand men?
How about couples?
That would be fun! I would love to teach a woman how to discipline her partner.
Do men and women respond differently to spankings?
Not much knowledge in this area but I would say they respond very differently, based on what I know about the spankings I give and how I like to be spanked.
Can we solve many of the world’s problems with good old fashioned spankings?
Ha! Probably not. But if someone feels cared for and gets their needs taken care of, they will be naturally less stressed. We can all benefit from being less stressed; our relationships are better, we can serve others better and we become more productive in accomplishing our goals. Spanking is important to those desire and need it.